What’s the difference between a Lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The Lawyer charges more

One can not truly appreciate all of the Lawyer jokes you have heard over the years until you have experienced Crimson Court.  Yes, it’s true, Lawyers are concerned primarily with themselves, their billable hours, their reputation and then their client, and yes, that is in order of priority.

The court experience is akin to Dorothy being swept up and planted in Oz….Kansas seems very far away when you are in the midst of Court surrounded by a Judge, Lawyers, Reporters, Interns, etc.  They might as well be flying monkeys as they seem just as surreal.

The protocols of court are like learning a new language as well.  Judges are referred to as “Your Honor” not “Sir.”  There is no actual free discussion.  Everything is scripted.  A set of questions are read from the Judge and yes/no responses are rendered by the defendant.

Judges never actually meet directly with the person on trial.  They read materials sent to them and make their judgement based upon what they read and the guidelines set forth.  All questions asked of the defendant are scripted, per protocol.  The questions are meant to cover the Judges and Lawyers legally…in other words….when you are asked if you feel your Lawyer represented you well you can’t exactly say no when they are standing right next to you.  The questions don’t actually protect the Defendant but they protect the Judge and Lawyers to show that they have done their duty.

Lawyers speak freely outside of the court walls….these negotiations can be lengthy (refer to billable hours) and are normally prolonged.

Do not let the court experience overwhelm you.  Whether or not you have watched any of the plethora of Legal TV series, it won’t prepare you for the actual experience.

Know how copper wire was invented?

Two Lawyers were fighting over a penny

**Note, Lawyer jokes are available in abundance.  The above two quips were located by Googling “Lawyer Jokes”…be advised, you will need to weed through an abundance of borderline inappropriate jokes to find print worthy options.